No doubt I’ll watch the Super Bowl…again. For what reason I don’t know; maybe because it seems like the thing to do. I’ve attended Super Bowl parties, not as much because I’m a big football fan (especially when neither the team from my current or home town states are playing), but because the food is plentiful…and people seem amused by my sportscasting commentary.
Is it my imagination, or is football season becoming longer? The season ends at the same time, but it seems we’re watching preseason games as early as July. Then there was arena football, which means you’re guaranteed virtual year-round entertainment, unless your satellite provider has the All Football Channel, where you can watch reruns of old games 24/7.
Plenty of people watch the games and not only identify the teams, but also the players. An evening with friends at our local haunt’s Happy Hour was an unforgettable one. A group of larger-than-average men, many of whom had no visible necks, were adamant about making the patrons aware of their entrance. My first impression was that they were models for one of those Big & Tall Men’s clothing shops. Then Joanne exclaimed, “Don’t you know who they are?” She informed me the boisterous boys were the Minnesota Vikings.
My friend Marcie doesn’t keep track of players, much less the teams. When I asked her whom she hoped would clinch the Super Bowl, she responded, “Whichever team has the prettiest jerseys.” And come on ladies, we know we all enjoy those “tight ends” especially on a high definition big screen! Now that’s one football term I understand. I’d also give extra points to teams whose players wear larger diamond earrings than I could dream of owning.
My daughter asked for an explanation about some of the rules of the game. “I don’t get this ‘downs’ stuff,” she said. In the end, we both were more confused by the technical explanation that ensued. So, here’s my condensed and easy to comprehend explanation of the game of football:
A bunch of burly guys have to move the ball down the field. In their attempt to do so, many other burly guys will try to get the ball away from the opponent, apparently thinking the more men that are in a jumbo pile on top of the guy with the ball, the better.
I don’t get it…even if one or two other large men have grabbed him by the ankles and a couple more are sitting on him, what are the chances of his escaping? It’s not enough that the player with the ball gets tackled to the ground and is obviously going nowhere. Ten other men have to jump on him just in case the first ones didn’t do a good enough job?
If they can’t get down to the end of the field in four tries, the other team gets the ball and they start the process all over again, only they run down to opposite end of the field. If they do score, it’s called a touchdown. Let’s not forget about the token smaller man they have on the team whose job it is to kick the ball. He traditionally remains unscathed.
So why do they call it “downs”? Because football players spend a lot of time down on the ground on their tight ends.